Fear of Failing.

My weight gain was due to be unhappy at school I think. I was'nt really picked on. But school was just not for me. Its a long story short. But When I was in year 12 (2002) I found out I had Dislexia (Hense the spelling mistakes) and so that finally put so Many pieces of my puzzle together. I had struggled all the way through school. Im very smart and very hands on... I dont learn the same as other kids. I learn in my own way in my own time. Dislexia is a wonderfull thing but also its hard to deal with when you dont know you have it.. and you wonder why your not the same as the other kids... So I went through school feeling like I was never good enough..

Its a big story to explain and IM trying to keep it short. But I guess I had this whole feel of failing at every thing in my life, so I just was'nt trying very hard at any thing.. and I guess my weight was a proctection around me. After I scraped through VCE, I decided I wanted to go over sea's. I didn't think I could cope with uni. So I went and worked in USA on cape cod at a summer camp and did a tour round New Zealand I was away for about 4 months in 2004. Then again in 2006 I went For a working holiday to the Uk. I worked in pubs for 6 months and travelled brittan irleand and europe for 9 months. After being away for 9 months you come back home and you fall into a big hole. Nouthing changes but yet everything changes. Friends move away, Some friend ships Have moved apart and I was left feeling lonenly and having no idea what was going to happen next in my life.. So there was a Major weight Gain there... 2008/2009 was a stressfull year. Working full time and Selling my house and extra family Issues and going over sea's again, This time I went to America, Canada, Alaska, England scotland and wales. But while I was in Alaska something changed, and I decided it was time for me to go back to study. I came home and did a Business Management course and I did really well, So I applyed for a animal Course which Im doing now.. Its Diploma in Animal techology.

So This year was The year to Make a CHANGE. I finally found Belief in my self and realized I can to do thing I never though I could. And that I really needed to give things a proper go in life and not worry to much if I fail. So as my first post I start Weight watchers for the 4 time a week before Xmas.

My Study is going Really well. Im doing Chemistry and Maths as subject and somehow there my best subjects. (at school I was terrible) And IM a top student. I have now lost 18.2kg since Xmas. I aim to lose another 1.8kg in 2 weeks so I can reach 20kg loss in 6 months.

well I am going to up load The 6 month photos. And you can see my resualts. :) Thanks for reading Its alot to get of my chest. But I tell you when you have figured out what has been holding you back for the last 8 years Its a weight Lifted off your shoulders and I feel freee.